Urgent Prayers For Our Nigerian Brothers And Sisters

Editor's Note:  The following is a repost of an article that appeared in the Church of the Brethren Newsline.  I am sharing it here as information and requesting your prayer support for this urgent matter.  -  gdg Newsline The Church of the Brethren e-mail news service

Oct. 29, 2014 “The Lord is my shepherd...even when I walk through the darkest valley” (Psalm 23:4a, CEB). Nigerian Brethren headquarters property overtaken by insurgents The Nigeria Brethren church headquarters property has been overtaken by Boko Haram extremist insurgents. The news was shared in the early hours of this morning in an e-mail from the staff liaison of Ekklesiyar Yan’uwa a Nigeria (EYN, the Church of the Brethren in Nigeria), who wrote: “JUST RECEIVED A CALL FROM EYN PRESIDENT WITH TEARS IN MY EYES I WANT TO INFORM YOU THAT BH HAS TAKEN OVER EYN HEADQUARTERS KWARHI.  THANKS FOR YOUR PRAYERS ALWAYS THANKS FOR YOUR PRAYERS ALWAYS” Since then, Church of the Brethren staff have been in contact with EYN leaders by telephone and e-mail, and additional information has been received. Many aspects of the situation remain unclear. However here is what is known at this time: The EYN headquarters property and Kulp Bible College, which are located in the village of Kwarhi, were attacked and taken by the insurgents. Boko Haram is in control of Kwarhi, and also reportedly has taken the nearby city of Mubi, and another nearby town of Maraba. At the time of the attack on Kwarhi and the EYN headquarters, leading staff including EYN president Samuel Dali were holding meetings in a community several kilometers away, and were safe. However their families, many of whom had returned to their homes on the headquarters property in recent weeks, were forced to flee for their lives. In the attack on the EYN headquarters, some of the guards for the compound were killed, and the conference hall was hit by a rocket launcher. During the attack on Kwarhi, many soldiers in the contingent that was stationed there also were killed. There is uncertainty about the whereabouts of some Kulp Bible College students and family members, and serious concern for the people who may be trapped in Mubi, along with many of the inhabitants of surrounding villages. Among those whose whereabouts are causing concern are people from the International Rescue Committee, a partner organization to the nonprofit relief group CCEPI, which is headed up by Rebecca Dali who represented EYN at this summer’s Annual Conference. Some weeks ago, at a time when Boko Haram attacks were closing in on Kwarhi, KBC was closed and students and families, as well as EYN staff families, were evacuated and left the compound. However, recently families had been returning, and in recent days there even were reports that KBC was reopening. The EYN staff and their families are taking refuge in a community several kilometers away from the Mubi area, where they are assessing immediate needs and still waiting to hear from some members of the community. However, the EYN leadership does not feel the situation at that location is safe either, and understands it to be very vulnerable to attack. EYN president Samuel Dali said that  “the situation is very bad” in a telephone conversation with Jay Wittmeyer, executive director of Global Mission and Service, and requested prayer. In addition to prayer for those who have not yet been heard from, those who are trapped in Boko Haram controlled areas, those who have lost loved ones, and those who have been forced to flee their homes, prayer is requested for God’s guidance for EYN to decide where to relocate its headquarters and its staff and their families. The Global Mission office has wired $100,000 which has been collected for the EYN Compassion Fund to assist EYN to meet the immediate needs at this time. It is hoped that more information will be available from EYN later in the week. For online resources and background information about EYN and the Church of the Brethren mission in Nigeria, go to www.brethren.org/nigeria . Newsline is edited by Cheryl Brumbaugh-Cayford, director of News Services for the Church of the Brethren. The next regularly scheduled issue of Newsline is set for Nov. 4.

 

The Essence of Ordination: And the Duty of Discipleship

 

Four months ago I quietly celebrated the thirtieth anniversary of my ordination to the Christian ministry by doing…absolutely nothing.  I knew this date was approaching but in all honesty I didn’t even think about it when it arrived.  Not until about two months later did I realize this milestone in my life had passed. 

 

Some events just are not all that significant in the larger drama of Life.  That’s not to say my ordination isn’t important to me.  It certainly is.  It constantly reminds me that God has certain expectations of me, expectations I too often fail to live up to.  But the beauty of His Call is that He is able to use me in all my weaknesses and still accomplish His purpose.  As the Apostle Paul has written,

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  (2 Corinthians 12:9 [NIV])

It is humbling to realize how God loves us so much that he should send Jesus to die for our sins, raise him to life through the power of the resurrection, then fill us with his Holy Spirit that we might live for him.  This is the essence of ordination.

 

Not everyone sees it this way, however.  Today’s pastor/minister tends to be cut from a different type of cloth all together.

 

The word minister literally means “the mini-one” or “the smaller or lesser one”.  The lesser one in biblical days was the slave or the servant.  Thus the minister is actually the servant, the least among men.  Hmm, I wonder how many “Reverends” remember that from their Greek classes in seminary!  From where I stand it seems like many have forgotten this truth a long time ago.  They have allowed their ego and their role as a decision maker to lull them into believing that they are someone special.  Because the minister typically is the one who gets to speak all he wants about whatever he wants and he has no one worthy of talking back or disputing what he says, it is understandable why he/she too easily becomes consumed with pride.  The system followed by most churches today only feeds this narcissism by elevating the role of the pastor/minister to something between human and divine.  It is surprising there are not more pastors receiving excessive six-digit salaries (including all the hidden perks and benefits), living in luxury homes and driving automobiles that rival any corporate CEO.

 

Seriously.  In the place of the biblical “minister” I look around and see a mass uprising of “megasters”: i.e. “the larger or greater ones”, usurping authority and leading our churches and congregations away from the New Testament and down a happy but dangerous road.  In all honesty it is embarrassing and demeaning to be identified as one of the members of their Club.  I am sure the Old Testament prophets would have a heyday with today’s ecclesiastical economy! 

 

Yet today’s prophets seem oddly silent.

 

I find myself drawn ever-increasingly to the small and somewhat inconspicuous branch of theology known as Anabaptism.  In many and various ways Anabaptism quietly deflects the gaudy showmanship that seemingly defines much of what is considered “Christian” in America today.  Anabaptist theology says that every believer in Christ is called to be a minister of the Gospel - - ordained, as it were.  When we accept Christ as our Savior and are baptized in his Name we are, in effect, ordained by God to serve him according to his Will.  That, to me, is more powerful, more noteworthy, more significant than my official “ordination” by the Church to serve in what we in the Church of the Brethren refer to as the “set apart ministry” (so named to distinguish it from the ministry shared by all believers).  For if it were not for my salvation I could never serve as an “ordained minister”.

 

The concept that all believers are ministers is reflected by Peter when he reminds us that we “are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. ¹⁰  Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.”  (I Peter 2:9 – 10) NIV

 

Much has been made of that phrase “a royal priesthood”.  The great Reformers of the 16^th & 17^th Centuries used it as the basis of what they called the Priesthood of all believers.  The biblical context indeed suggests that all who have received the forgiveness of sin, have transitioned from darkness (sin) to light (salvation) have also accepted the challenge to live a completely different life.  Peter draws a sharp contrast between life before conversion and life after it.  He begins this passage by saying “¹  Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. ²  Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation”  (I Peter 2: 1-2).  To follow Christ is to accept a very high calling indeed.  Such a drastic change in one’s life is most certainly noteworthy.

 

In a nutshell I am suggesting that our salvation and the corresponding responsibility to “live a life worthy of the calling which you have received. (Ephesians 4:1 [NIV])” is of utmost significance and worth celebrating regularly.  In the Church of the Brethren, as in most Anabaptist traditions, we celebrate this “common Calling”, if I may refer to it as such, through the biblical service known as The Love Feast.

 

Most Christians observe The Eucharist, that is, the bread and cup of communion as instituted by Jesus at the Last Supper.  All four Gospels make mention of it and like a story told by four different people no two accounts are exactly the same.  But taken together we gain a rather clear picture of what exactly our Lord was wanting to emphasize that night.  Through the centuries the Christian Community generally has not only embraced but in fact revered the bread and the cup as one of the sacraments, or ordinances depending upon the tradition, of the Church.  Some Churches celebrate the Eucharist weekly.  Some serve it once a month.  Others may serve it only several times a year.  Few, however, observe the complete service as Jesus intended.

 

The Passover Meal

 

The Last Supper was actually the Jewish Passover meal.  This meal was instituted by Moses to reinforce the memory of Israel under the burden of Egyptian slavery and miraculously freed by the power of Yahweh.  Simply stated the Passover Feast involved the slaying and eating of a lamb without blemish, along with bitter herbs and bread made without yeast (unleavened bread). 

 

The lamb reminded the people that Israel painted their door frames with the blood of a lamb so the Angel of Death would “pass over” their house.  Any house that did not have the blood displayed above the doorway (The Egyptians, aka non-believers) would  find their first- born male child killed by the Angel.  

 

The bitter herbs served as a reminder of the cruel and difficult life they were forced to live while in Egypt.

 

The unleavened bread held a two-fold meaning.  On the practical side it reminded them of the need to make hasty preparations to leave Egypt.  There was not enough time to wait for the dough to rise before it could be baked.  However there was also a spiritual meaning hidden in this element.  Yeast was used in the Bible on several occasions to symbolize sin.  In Matthew 16:6 Jesus said, “Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees” (NIV).  Paul explains further in I Corinthians 5:6-8 when he wrote, “⁶  Your boasting is not good. Don't you know that a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough?  ⁷  Get rid of the old yeast that you may be a new batch without yeast--as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed.  ⁸  Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old yeast, the yeast of malice and wickedness, but with bread without yeast, the bread of sincerity and truth”  (NIV).  Clearly bread made with yeast is a symbol of the sin that creeps into our life in little ways but soon takes over everything.  Unleavened bread, on the other hand, represents the life without sin made possible only through the Grace of Jesus Christ.

 

The meal also included four cups of wine.  Each was blessed and consumed throughout the meal.  It is said the four cups were representative of the four words spoken by Moses to Pharaoh: “let my people go.”

 

The Passover was to be celebrated annually by every Israelite because of the high significance of the Exodus event.  It was the beginning of a Covenant between Yahweh and his people.  It was, in a many of speaking, the Independence Day for ancient Israel.

 

The Brethren Love Feast

 

So what has this to do with the Love Feast?  Jesus took this powerful worship experience and reinterpreted it as a means of introducing a New Covenant.  He would be the Passover Lamb, sacrificed the following day at Calvary.  By his blood alone we who believe are saved; redeemed.  Our sins are forgiven and God will “pass-over” our unrighteousness so long as we stand in the righteousness of Christ.  This is how we are freed from the power of sin and death.

 

For us the yeast is entirely a symbol of sin and its tendency to spread.  Thus unleavened bread is eaten at the Eucharist and the Love Feast.  At the Last Supper Jesus reinterpreted the unleavened bread to represent his body, broken on the Cross.  It is a symbol of his death.  But it is also a symbol of our dependence upon Jesus day by day.  “I am the bread of life,” said our Lord (John 6:35),  “He who comes to me will never go hungry.”  Indeed our very life was created by Jesus and by his gracious hand we receive all that we need to live.

 

Many churches even in Anabaptist circles have varied the practice of using unleavened bread for communion.  Some will at times to use leavened bread but I confess I am old-fashioned enough to always feel a bit cheated if the bread served at communion contains yeast. 

 

We in the Church of the Brethren take this just a bit further, at least in the Congregations I am familiar with.  First, we make our own unleavened bread.  Each congregation seems to have their own recipe that is followed, but let’s face it, there is only so many ways you can vary this thing.  Typically, the Brethren style of unleavened bread is about half an inch thick and spread out on cookie sheets to bake.   Before being placed in the oven the bread is scored into small pieces about two inches square.  Then a specially designed fork with five prongs is used to slightly puncture the surface leaving 5 holes per piece.  These five holes represent the five wounds, or holes, placed in the body of Jesus at the Crucifixion:  one for each hand, one for each foot, and one for the sword placed into his side to ensure he was dead.  To this day whenever I receive the bread of communion I still break it into five pieces to eat.

 

The four cups of wine were reduced by Jesus to one.  This solitary cup symbolizes the shedding of his blood.  Leviticus 17:11 tells us that “the life of a creature is in the blood. (NIV)”  A case can be made therefore that the cup of communion, while representing Christ’s shed blood and his death, also represents life – in particular, Eternal Life.

 

While there is no prescribed way in which the Love Feast must be observed it usually follows an outline something like this.

 

1. The Preparatory Service
   
   This includes a time of singing hymns, reading scripture, confession of sin and sharing in prayer.
   It is a time for self-examination.  We are invited to look inward, to see if there is any sin that must be dealt with before coming to the Lord’s Table.
   
   In years gone by each member of the congregation would be visited by a deacon, pastor or elder in the weeks leading up to the Love Feast.  These visits were more than social events.  There were intended to be sure that all was well between you and your brothers and sisters in Christ.  If someone held animosity against a fellow Church member the Love Feast would be postponed until such time that reconciliation could be made.  This practice emphasized the urgency of unity within the Body of Christ.
   
   
2. The Fellowship Meal
   
   Following the Preparatory Service a modest meal would be served to all.  The menu varies greatly from one congregation to the next and frequently reflects cultural or local traditions.  But no matter what is served it is done so with moderation. 
   
   The meal is intended to remind us, first, that we are a family – a spiritual family united in Christ.  It also suggests that God provides for all our needs.
   
   
3. Washing of Feet
   
   Next comes the washing of feet.  Admittedly most congregations wash feet before the meal but I prefer to do this after the meal, based on the words of John 13:4-5 where Jesus clearly had already been served the meal and then “got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist.  After that he poured water in a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.”
   
   For me this is an overwhelming experience!  Jesus, the Lord of all Creation, the Son of God and savior of our souls, stooped in the form of a servant and washed the feet of his disciples.  In doing so he preached one of the most enduring sermons ever - - without uttering a word!  Here we have the perfect symbol of humility, servant leadership, spiritual renewal, and love. 
   
   It is not easy to get down on your knees before a fellow believer and take their foot in your hand to wash it, dry it, and repeat for the other foot.  Yet it is an empowering moment.  Whenever I wash the feet of another in this setting I am demonstrating my commitment to be there in their time of need.  I will do what I can to help, to comfort, to serve.  And I do it in the Name of Jesus.
   
   Some tell me there is no need to wash feet today.  We do not wear sandals and walk on dust-covered roads like the first century people did.  To them it was a common practice whenever you visited in a person’s home. But for us it holds no relevance.  I could not disagree more strongly.
   
   Yes, people might offer to wash a guest’s feet in the days of the New Testament.  But the lowest ranking person in the house would have to do the chore.  A slave or servant, if there was one; a child if there was not.  Anyone but the head of the house.  Yet here was Jesus, the great Master, Teacher and Lord, taking upon himself this most humble role.  Then comes the punchline only Jesus could present.
   John 13:12-17 (NIV)
   ^“12  When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them.
   ¹³  "You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am.
   ¹⁴  Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet.
   ¹⁵  I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.
   ¹⁶  I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.
   ¹⁷  Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.”
   
   Did you catch that?  Jesus said we are to follow his example and wash one another’s feet.  That is not a suggestion.  It is not a mere statement.  It is a command!
   
   
4. The Eucharist
   
   Only after all the above transpires do we now come to the bread and cup of communion.  By this time we have examined our hearts, confessed our sins, refresh our bodies and expressed our commitment to each other.  Only then are we able to “proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.  (I Corinthians 11:26)”  NIV

 

 

Summary

 

The Brethren Love Feast is perhaps the most biblical worship experience one can hope to find.  Not only does it follow the sequence of events at the Last Supper, but its rich symbolism represents the most sacred themes in scripture.  It is a wondrous treasure.

This is why I am so deeply concerned that the Church is drifting away from its dynamic heritage.  Few congregations outside the Anabaptist circle have any idea what the Love Feast is, even though it is mentioned in the New Testament on several occasions  (see I Corinthians 10:21 & 11:20; John 13:1-17;
I Timothy 5:10 and Jude 12).  Even within my denomination I know of one congregation that decided to not hold the Love Feast.  Instead they simply offered the bread and cup of the Eucharist as part of their regular Sunday morning worship.  The stated reason was that not everyone came to the Love Feast, but by offering the Eucharist as part of a Sunday morning worship they could bring the bread and cup to more people.  My response to that is simple.  Salvation must be an individual response to the grace of God.  That is to say each person must voluntarily and individually seek God’s forgiveness and receive his grace.  In the same way it follows that the Love Feast, communion, or the Eucharist must be voluntarily entered into by each individual person.  We can invite.  We can challenge.  We can encourage.  But we cannot make a person partake of the bread and cup.  If we try to, it becomes totally meaningless.

 

The anniversary date of my ordination to ministry is insignificant.  The Love Feast is not.  I pray this awesome and holy experience may continue to inspire a new generation of committed believers in the Lord Jesus Christ.

Residential Services for the Physcially and Mentally Challenged Can Be Most Challenging: Part 1

This is the first installment of a two-part series on one family's challenge as they seek quality residential services for their son.

It has been a year since I last posted a new original commentary on Peace-Ability.  Some of you may have thought you were finally rid of me!  Ha!  Just like a wooden nickel I’m back!  Oh I have no idea when I will post again.  Only the Lord knows that.  But tonight I am inspired to return to this faceless forum where I can vent my frustrations and share my views on the world no matter how vague my vision may be.

 

First allow me to bring you up to date since my last post on August 28, 2013.  At that time our son Jonathan was living in a group home for persons with intellectual and developmental disabilities.  After carefully researching all the Agencies in our County that provided residential services to persons with disabilities and having secured the necessary funding from the State through the Consolidated Waiver (an exhausting and anxiety-ridden process in itself), we chose to work with a rather large, well established Christian agency which had established a wonderful reputation.  We hand picked this agency for our son because we were sure they were the best.  And they were.  Once.  Sadly that was quite a few years ago and as we would soon discover things had changed.

 

Jonathan was originally told he was going to move into a home where he would have three house mates, all more or less his age and similar in abilities.  A transition schedule was given to us by which he would be introduced to his new home and the other residents.  He got to know the staff and spent quite a few hours with them doing a variety of things.  It concluded with the move-in date.  Jonathan was both excited and a bit apprehensive as the idea of moving sank in.  Then suddenly, just before the first of two scheduled sleep-overs, he was told that he would not be moving into this house after all.  Rather, he would be moving into a different home with only one other resident.  The location of this home and the timing of the move were uncertain as it would be a newly opened facility purchased by the family of the other resident and leased to the Agency.  Jonathan was heart-broken and stunned.  A young person with his diagnoses does not adapt well to change and uncertainty.  As his parents we were disappointed with the way this was handled.  Still, for Jonathan’s sake we made every effort to remain positive.

 

An appropriate home was found and purchased by the other family and renovations were made to bring it up to code.  Jonathan moved into this home in December 2012, nine months after he was scheduled to move into the first house.  All was well for the first several months.  We soon learned that there would be considerable turnover of staff, which we found to be curious.  We attributed this to the condition of Jonathan’s house mate, a man in his early sixties who was non-verbal but quite mobile.  He had a tendency to shout and make extremely loud noises while stomping around the house in a restless manner.  This man was pleasant at times but could be quite stubborn. When agitated he made it nearly impossible to hold a conversation with another person.  Jonathan was greatly disillusioned by this but surprisingly accepting of it, even to the point where he proved to be more effective at calming the man down than many of the staff members.

 

As the months passed we noticed that staffing became increasingly challenging.  People came and went, frequently in short order.  By August 2013 the house was on their third Supervisor.  The first one lasted six months before suddenly and somewhat mysteriously leaving.  Next came a two-month interim followed by a man who never supervised a Group Home in his life.  The rest of the staff also saw a drastic turnover.  I am unsure how many staff they actually had for this place but I can tell you it was at least nine persons spread over a 24/7 schedule. Most of these were part timers.  Within seven months of opening only one of the original staff members remained in place.  A few positions saw multiple staff changes.  That in itself says something was running amuck.

 

Persons with autism do not do well with change or uncertainty.  They crave continuity and thrive on familiarity.  The staffing problem alone was a bit unsettling for Jonathan.  I wish I could say it was the biggest challenge we faced, but it wasn’t. The list of offenses was long.

• The doors and windows of the house were to have alarms on them so if one of the residents wandered outside unsupervised the staff would know it.  These alarms were in place but often were not turned on.
• Residents’ diets were to be strictly followed according to doctor’s orders.  Our son was placed on a low calorie, low fat, low cholesterol diet by his physician yet he gained 56 pounds in 10 months and became obese and pre-diabetic because the staff ignored these orders.
• Jonathan was assigned a one-on-one to engage him in activities and things of interest.    Of course the “things of interest” were meant to be things Jonathan wanted to do.  Instead they regularly refused to take him places where he wanted to go or to do the things he wanted, like riding his bike, going for hikes, visiting local playgrounds, shooting hoops or pitching ball.  Most of the time the staff simply refused to take him somewhere so he could do these things even if it meant just going outside and staying in the massive back yard that came with the property.  Consequently he became house-bound and lethargic.
• Staff took the power cord to Jonathan’s DVD player for “safe keeping”.  The next time Jonathan wanted to watch one of his favorite DVD’s no one could find the power cord.  It never was located nor replaced.
• Because of his disabilities Jonathan is a very poor house keeper.  This is one of the reasons why he is dependent upon others.  While he is supposed to try to keep his room neat and his laundry cared for with supervision, the fact was the staff did all his laundry and in the process completely ruined several clothing items because they did not know how to use a washing machine & a dryer.  Seriously!  With regards to cleaning and picking up after himself it just never happened.  His bedroom was a disaster zone.  Dirty laundry lay mostly in one corner for weeks at a time; clothes, trash, and toys were strewn all over the place; his bed was seldom made unless we came and helped him make it; his bed sheets were only washed about once a month.  And the dust was thick on all the furniture.
• The bathroom was an issue of its own.  Jonathan does not take showers.  He prefers tub baths.  The bathtub had a pronounced ring of dirt and grime encircling it.  The rubber bath mat was gross.  No other word describes it.  It was never rinsed off nor hung up to dry following use.  Predictably it was covered with mold and mildew.  We complained many times about it but nothing was ever done to address the issue.
• According to the Department of Public Welfare regulations governing group homes such as this one parents or loved ones of residents could manage their money if they were legally recognized as durable Power of Attorney or as Representative Payee (a Social Security designation).  From the beginning we choose to continue managing our son’s financial concerns.  This did not sit well with the Agency.  They repeatedly asked us to relinquish such rights and name the Agency as the keepers of the cash.  We chose not to. 
• Once when Jonathan was meeting with his behavioral therapist, with his mother and the House Supervisor in the room, Jonathan began to tell the therapist how scared he was because the house mate hits him and he was afraid he would be hurt.  Immediately the House Supervisor yelled at Jonathan and said that what he was telling them was not true and he should not be telling lies.  This man became extremely loud, rude, and animated right there in the therapist’s office.  Needless to say the therapist was shocked and boldly took control by setting him in his place.  She later confided to us that she did document that outburst and passed it on to appropriate people.  Jonathan told us much later that such outbursts were not at all unusual for this man, who would call Jonathan into his office and “yell” at him.  Jonathan claimed he did not know why he was being yelled at.

There were numerous trivial things that bothered us but most of them were not all that serious.  The list above represents our primary concerns.  But the final two complaints came in October and November of 2013.

 

Jonathan attends Therapeutic Horseback Riding once a week for an hour and 15 minutes.  Oddly this is not covered by the Consolidated Waiver therefore he must pay for it himself out-of-pocket.  Because it is important to him and we have seen the positive results from it we decided to continue with this service while he was living at the Group Home. 

 

One day the Director of the stable called us and asked why Jonathan was not attending his lessons.  We learned that for over two months his Staff either did not take him to the stable for riding lessons or arrived there as much as 55 minutes late – long after the horse was unsaddled and put back in his stall.  Not once did they ever call to inform the stable people that they were running late or would not be present.  Jonathan was paying for lessons he never received. 

 

As serious as that was, it doesn’t come close to what I am about to reveal.

 

I already told you the house mate was non-verbal, lower functioning and mobile.  He also had a tendency to hit things.  Counters, tables, cabinets, furniture all felt the impact of his fist at one time or another.  So did Jonathan.  On three occasions that we know of Jonathan reported to us that this man had hit him.  Several other times Jonathan escaped only by avoiding the hand and getting away.  Staff also had been hit.  In fact one staffer told us he had been hit by this person and that others had been, too.  My wife was smacked by him once.  He took her completely by surprise, coming quickly around an overstuffed chair to approach her from just behind her left shoulder.  He reached out and smacked her on the back as he quickly passed by.  The med tech saw it and said to her “He just hit you, didn’t her?”  She responded emphatically, “Yes!”  I also was hit hard on the upper right arm.

 

When we had the opportunity we mentioned to the Administrators the three times Jonathan said he was hit.  Each time they denied it.  “Oh, that’s just his way of shaking hands.  He’s trying to be friendly,” we were told the first time.  Out of concern for our son’s safety we pushed the issue further, adding to it the times we have been hit by him.  The Administrators then responded by declaring, “No, he did not hit you.  The staff would be required to document that if it happened and there was no documentation.  It didn’t happen.”

 

By this time we had it.  The weight gain, the lost riding lessons, the unsanitary conditions and the threat of violence had brought us to the boiling point.  We asked to have Jonathan moved into another house when one would become available.  At a specially called meeting with the CEO, the Director of Residential Care, the Housing Coordinator, the House Supervisor, and the Supports Coordinator from the County, the Agency responded to our request with a resounding “No!”  Jonathan had only been living in this home 9 months at that point and that was much too soon to even talk about other options, according to the Director of Residential Services.  Under no conditions could Jonathan be moved into another home within their system.  Many things were discussed at the meeting but nothing was resolved.  A second meeting was scheduled for a month later.

 

At the second meeting we were immediately given a list of demands by the Agency.  The list contained thirteen points – an ominous omen, perhaps.  Of greatest concern to us were the following.

• “The family will limit email communication to only health and welfare concerns.”
• “Communications with Direct Care Professionals by parents are limited to imminent health and safety concerns.”
• Medical and behavioral appointments will be scheduled by the Agency and will always include an Agency Staff person even to the exclusion of the family.  (In other words they wanted to sit in on all his appointments, including his therapy sessions, while attempting to keep us in the dark.)
• Finally, they demanded that we give them $100 per month to use for Jonathan as they saw fit.  Together with his out-of-pocket room and board it meant that Jonathan would be paying the Agency 86% of his total SSI monthly check.  This “stipend”, as they called it, was to be given to them regardless of how much was spent from previous months, allowing for the possibility of building up a sizable sum of pocket change that may or may not be used according to their discretion.

These terms were presented to us in a written document that was non-negotiable.  If we did not agree to its terms Jonathan could not remain with the Agency.  Take it or leave it – it was that simple. 

 

The document violated numerous provisions of PA. Code 6400, the “manual” for licensed group homes within the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.  It was both illegal and unethical.  In short, they wanted us to disassociate ourselves from our son.  They absolutely refused to consider moving him under any circumstances.  So we made the choice instead by moving him out of the Agency’s care and back home with us.

 

It was a difficult decision to make.  However, it was made easier by our son’s constant plea to get him out of there.

 

It is hard to believe in this day and age that any licensed facility could be so thoughtless and irresponsible as this one.  Knowing they claim to be a Christian Agency is especially difficult to swallow.  It only proves that anyone, or any organization, can take on the Name of Christ but not live out the Love of Christ.

 

Late in October 2013 Jonathan returned home to live with us temporarily until another location could be found.  He was in the Group Home for 10 ½ months.  As I write this he has been back with us for the just under 10 months.

 

Our search for another residential agency is still ongoing.  It has some interesting details of its own, which I will share in my next post.  Until then I leave you with the words of Hebrews 11:9

“By faith he [Abraham] made his home in the Promised Land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise.”

 

 

 

G. D. Gehr

August 11, 2014